Saturday, February 02, 2008

"Comp Day"

Last Wednesday was what is affectionately known as "Comp Day" at work. It is that day that all promotions / pay rises / bonuses are dramatically unveiled.

I work for a bank, a pretty damn big bank. I think that I can say that without giving too much away. I will have been there for two years in May and this "Comp Day" was the day for my hard work and commitment to be recognised (with a promotion and a pay rise). I knew that the promotion was in the bag as I have been performing a role above my grade for the past 5 months. The excitement for me was to find out how much of a pay rise the promotion would lead to. I had already accepted that I would not be receiving a bonus.

However, my luck being my luck, when I was called into his office to be told what I was getting I was asked by my boss if I wanted the "good news" or the "slightly crappy news". I went for the slightly crappy news, already fully aware of what the supposed "good news" was.

"The good news" he said, despite my request for the slightly crappy news first, "is..." he continued. Then, before uttering another word, he slid a letter across the table towards me. "Congratulations!"

The letter said that I had been promoted to a Senior something or other. It ever so kindly thanked me for my commitment and said that they hoped that I would would continue to produce similarly impressive results in the year ahead.

I said "Oh", then thought about my reaction and thanked my boss.

"Now here's the slightly crappy news" he continued.

Across came another piece of paper. This time minus the eye contact. The paper detailed my old salary, had a blank space for my new salary and a blank space for my bonus. I looked at it, in shock looked at it again. Fought the sudden need to swear at him or kick him in the face. And looked at my boss. Silence.

"I know" he said.

Of course he knows. He's the one who decides who gets what. And he is the one who decided that I would get nothing. Of course he bloody well knows!

"You got the promotion and that's the most important thing" he blurted out, quickly making things a million times worse, and increasing my blood pressure ten fold.

He gave me the obvious spiel about there being a 'big pot'. The pot however, can only contain a certain amount of money. The money can only be shared out to a certain number of people. As my eyebrows raised and couldn't possibly raise any higher, I imagined pushing my boss backwards on his black wheelie chair with both my feet and all my rage, out the window and watching him fall 21 floors into the fountains below. Me waving as he fell, smiling and thanking him for all the wonderful opportunities he had offered me.

As I picked up my letters, very ready to leave, he dared tell me that the reason my salary will not be changing is because of the 'current state of the market' and said that all banks are in the same position at the moment. I couldn't have looked any more disinterested if I had tried. I thanked him (disappointed by my politeness) and I left.

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