Global Email

Typical.

A panicky lady just approached my desk to enquire whether a black cardigan had been handed in. When I advised her that, no, there was no cardigan here, she told me that I must send a global email immediately because someone had obviously walked off with her wooly. She had left it in one of the meeting rooms and it was no longer there.

"Ok" I said, "are you sure it's not there?"

"Yes, yes" she replied "I left it in there after a meeting. I went back to get it but there were people in there. Now it's gone and I'm freezing!"

"Ok" I said again, "I shall send a tactful email out, I'll ask if anyone has seen it for you".

What on earth should I write, I thought. Everytime I started to draft something it appeared sarcastic. Then accusatory. Then it sounded like I was taking the piss.

In the end I went with something along the lines of 'Christine's cardigan has gone astray. It is black with black buttons (one missing), size 12. It was last seen in meeting room two at approximately 15:00 hours. If anyone has seen said cardigan please let me know as soon as possible so that it can be reunited with it's rightful owner'. Short but sweet. Not pointing any fingers at anyone un-necessarily and did the job.

I spell checked it twice - just incase, then pressed send.

"Found it!" I heard as Christine came running around the corner "No need for the email then!"

Too late.

She looked so happy, buttoning up her cardie. I felt forlorn as I saw reply after reply appear in my inbox. Searching for a garment of clothing does not warrant sending an email to everyone apparently - some people are far to busy to filter nonsense emails. Better just to ask around.

I wish i'd told Christine to do it herself now!