Training Day

Today is training day.

I have two days off next week and a temp is covering for me while I'm away. I have to train her up this afternoon.

How embarrassing.

To make it really awkward she's already done this job for three days when I was off sick last week. The office didn't collapse or descend into anarchy while I was away, so I think she just about coped... Yet she still has to come in to be 'trained' for some reason.

Trained to do what though? To surf the net for nine hours? To battle through the exhaustion of doing nothing to ensure she doesn't fall asleep? To sleep with her eyes open perhaps? (a skill I have mastered and am definitely qualified to teach!)

I don't do anything so I have nothing to demonstrate.

I managed to learn the whole job from scratch in about 45 minutes - but she's been here before and she's held the fort before, so why on earth she must be trained now just escapes me.

I might make some stuff up.

I might actually tell her that Monday's are stationary cupboard cleaning days - because I keep looking at it and its a real state. It needs to be sorted out but I can't be bothered to do anything about it. I'm too used to doing nothing to be able to muster the enthusiasm to actually do anything now, so she may as well do it. I might tell her she can leave all the other things that I usually do (ie, nothing), so that she can get on with the tidying up.

But that would just be mean.

I think I'll just apologise for her having to come in to be trained. Denounce any responsibility. Then make sure she takes down my internet password.