We waved goodbye to one monster and another one raised her ugly head.

Last Thursday should have been a joyous occasion. It was officially the Bully's last day. Unfortunately she's not gone far - just a few floors lower, but at least I'll not have to listen to her incessant whining any longer.

It was great. She invited the whole floor (that's about 200 people, probably more - it's amazing how many battery hens you can fit into a single barn) to her leaving do's. Both of them. Pub at lunch and then pub after work to 'carry on drinking'. I've not exactly had a dilemma as to whether or not to go. I simply knew that I wouldn't be. Everyone else knew that I wouldn't be too. It's not a secret that the Bully made my life hell - although I am by far not the only person she chose to speak to like a child/animal/retard* depending on her mood. I am however, quite possibly the only person to openly express my distaste in being treated in such a way. When asked whether I would be going by my supervisor who had no choice but to go by way of the unspoken rules of 'playing the game', and who was attempting to black mail me into going by making me feel sorry for the Bully who perhaps would feel embarrassed when no one turned up, and when that failed, tried to make me feel sorry for her because she had to to go, I replied, loudly:

"I didn't intend on going, no"

(Which I thought was a fairly concise answer)

"Don't you feel bad that no one is going?" (She tried again in vain)

"No, not really" I said, slightly showing off now, as I knew that I had an audience and I knew that I was about to jump up on my soap box. "She has been really quite mean to me in the year that I have been on this desk" I continued "and really, if she hadn't behaved like such a monster she wouldn't be in this situation. If she hadn't been such a beast..."

Everyone around was trying to stifle their laughter as I carried on in a similar vein...

So anyway. The big day arrived and she went to the pub at lunch. I have no idea if anyone turned up at all, but I do know that no one from my team went (which is the team she has worked on for the past seven years). Instead, I went to the canteen and read my book for an hour. For the evening do the turn out was... I can't even bring myself to say it (because, believe it or not, totally against my better judgment I do feel a bit bad)... Four people! Four people went to the Bully's leaving do and one of those was the Bully herself!!!

Also, and this is funny. Our manager, the big boss, had asked her in advance what she would like as a leaving present. I think he knew that the task would fall on him as he has known her the longest (and is the only one who, somehow, is blind to her true hideousness). Rather than having to traipse around looking for something meaningful/funny/quirky he decided it easier and quicker to let her chose her present herself. Not cheaper unfortunately, as she chose an £80 pen. He obviously briefly did the sums in his head (1 card x 200 people x even just a £1 donation each = plenty of money for an £80 pen) so he went ahead and ordered it. The problem was, once he got the card back and counted up the bounty it had collected on it's rounds, the pot only added up to a grand total of £19! He had bought the pen out of his own money in advance and now found himself £60 out of pocket!

After he had checked and double checked the envelope (I guess to make sure there weren't a few £10 notes stuck in there, wedged into the corner) I honestly thought that he was going to explode. His face went red, his brow started sweating, he started swearing... We started laughing. And then he went around the entire floor again - Had you put money in? Yes? How much? Do you want to put some more in? No?? How very dare you, now put some money in! I don't know if he managed to bridge the difference at all, but I very much doubt it. Unfortunately I have no sympathy. He has managed to overlook the fact that six people that I know of have explicitly mentioned the Bully as their reason for leaving in the exit interviews, because they simply couldn't deal with her anymore. He chose not to see her vicious, petty, embarrassing and vulgar behavior, so he could deal with the consequences. There was a wave of hushed - 'oh well, what goes around comes around' and 'if she had been a nicer person it would have been reflected in the collection' that flew around the office... Not much comfort for the boss, but plenty of joy in it for me!

I know I probably sound really bitter and twisted in my behavior towards the Bully, and that's probably because I hate her. I could be having a perfectly pleasant day and with one sly move, one loud condescending rant - loud enough of course, for everyone else to hear so that not only did I have to somehow deal with being treated like a five year old, but I had to also deal with the small problem of public humiliation. It almost became a ritual public humiliation. 'Oh look, Amy seems to be having an average, ok day - time to suck that out of her and cast a dose of public shame upon her instead'.

I thought that that would have come to an end now that she had left in a blaze of, urm, glory.

Unfortunately not so...

...Because my supervisor, aka The Bitch, said to me yesterday (shouting across a couple of desks of course) "I think that this is wrong Amy" (referring to something I must have undoubtedly done wrong on purpose because I derive great satisfaction out of getting things wrong don't you know. I do it for kicks even. Yep, yep, yep, I'll do it wrong for the heck of it, what the hell...) "Did I?" I replied "I thought that that was how you are supposed to do it"... I said honestly. I turned and looked at her "Well It's Not, Is It Amy, It's Wrong" she said. And it's not just what she said, and not just how she said it, but it was the smug look on her patronising, smiling face. It was the Bully all over again.

Don't you just love work?

*Couldn't think of any other word, apologies for any offense caused. None intended.