The joke is on me I fear...

Oh great.

A couple of (grown) men from around the corner have just taken it upon themselves to lock their boss, one of the Vice Presidents, in his office. They were due to have a meeting with him, but he was on the phone and was making them late, so they decided to 'teach him a lesson'. Unfortunately for me, the office is right next to Allen's, right in front of my desk...

"Look how funny it'll be when he tries to get out" they said - as they walked off chuckling.

I am so going to get the blame for this I know it.

Even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me, I am undoubtedly going to get the full wrath of his anger when he realises he can't get out. One of the guys said "Just call out for me when he realises he's stuck"...

...By then it will be too late. He's not exactly one for joking about, is that VP.

I've been on the receiving end of his unfounded anger before. I got the blame when someone took a chair from his office last week. Again, nothing to do with me.

He came storming out of his office, right up to my face and said "you can't just go around taking people's chairs you know".

"I didn't" I said...

...(in my head).

I chose to look through him and say nothing.

I fear I can't get away with looking away and saying nothing this time - when he realises that he is locked in his office with the keys stuck on the window on the outside.

Oh my goodness.

I'm scared!

I might go and hide somewhere until the joke is over...

Leftovers?

It was so cold outside today that I was forced, against my better judgment, to eat my packed lunch in the office kitchen.

I knew before I sat down that this was most probably a bad move.

Somehow, within minutes, I had managed to offend a woman eating a ravioli concoction, by asking if she was eating leftovers for her lunch...

I didn't think that was such a bad thing - it actually points towards good planning if you ask me. Make a little more dinner than you need in the evening, keep it in the fridge overnight and re-heat it in the microwave for a warm free lunch the next day. Cheap, quick and probably a great deal healthier than what you would otherwise have bought. What more do you need?

Apparently, for her, it was deeply offensive to suggest she may be eating surplus food and no, she had actually, most definitely, cooked her pasta last night specifically to have for lunch today.

Okaaay then... (wide eyed nodding as I turned back to my book).

Touchy.

Covered in tea

Yuk.

I got in early again today. I didn't mean to but somehow it just happened.

Commenced my morning routine of coat off, PC on and into the kitchen for my hot chocolate. This all went fine.

When I got back to my desk though, the cleaner was just putting my phone down and was laughing hysterically.

Oh the hilarity of her being on the phone to her friend, still having tea in her mouth and spitting it out all over my phone and desk. Oh how funny that she just walked off laughing without cleaning it up.

Not funny.

It's disgusting.

I've had to clear up her spat out tea and I feel violated. It was on my mouse, my keyboard, the mousemat, desk and phone.

Gross.

Strike two now goes against her name on my list of hate.

Zzzzzz

It's so cold that I am wearing my scarf at my desk - the only problem is, my scarf is keeping me nice and toasty which is making me super sleepy.

My eyes keep closing, they feel so heavy.

I don't know what I am going to do - I really need to snap out of it.

Half my brain is whispering 'give in to it and close them', the other half is saying 'you can't, you're at work'. Unfortunately it feels so good to keep them shut that the giving in option seems the most attractive.

I thought I'd read my book as it is super quiet here today (so there's no-one here to give me evil looks - as if I have committed a major sin), but the words keep jumping all over the page and I'm not taking it in properly.

I've tried a large caffeine intake and that hasn't worked.

Five minutes sleeping in the toilets is the only thing that I can think of. Just so long as 5 quick minutes doesn't turn in to 30 glorious ones...

Not a bad selection of free grub

I was starting to panic there for a minute as all of the food was gone from the meeting room by the time that I got back from my lunch...

Not that I am hungry though. Far from it actually. I had two toasted cheese sandwiches and an unusually large iced chelsea bun for my lunch (It turned out to be a bit too much stodge for me and I feel incredibly sleepy now...) It was just that I had been waiting, so patiently, all morning.

However, the panic is over. I have successfully managed to pocket two strawberry smoothies, two vanilla yogurt smoothies and a massive muffin. I'm not at all sure about the muffin as it looks like it has poppy seeds in the icing, but Laura told me to take it and bin it of it wasn't nice! So I did! I'll blame her - I don't need telling twice.

Now I'm just going to do one more scout about to see if there are any free cans of coke! I fancy an ice cold can of free 'soft drink with vegetable extracts' (always sounds so unappetising). Ahhh, there is a lot to be said for days when there are big meetings... Even if it does mean that I have to push the door release button more frequently throughout the day!

Free lunch...

...Well, breakfast.

There's a big meeting again today. I've just watched a variety of croissants, fruit salads, freshly squeezed juice, blueberry muffins, carrot cake, Danish pastries and bananas all go in there. I'm hoping on a fruit salad going spare... I really fancy a croissant (to dip into my second hot chocolate of the day) but they are not individually wrapped and I don't fancy having a germ covered, man-handled pastry - even if it is free!* Mind you, a warm fruit salad may also be unappealing by the time it escapes the sweaty room - perhaps I will pass on the free breakfast all together!

*To make matters worse, I saw the cleaner putting them on the tray and she wasn't wearing gloves. I wonder if she came straight from cleaning the toilets to arranging to the croissants. The mood she was in this morning she probably spat or purposely sneezed on them to get back at the world which is so obviously against her. I'll definitely pass.

The cheek of it

The bloody cheek of it.

I got in early today, 8:21 to be precise. Went into the kitchen to get my hot chocolate (it's freezing today and I was desperate for it) and the cleaner started shouting at me.

Actually shouting...

For no reason...

I think she's lost the plot.

She angrily yelled "you're not hearing me!"

I frustratedly replied "I am hearing you, you're shouting!"

Stupid woman.

I got my hot chocolate and left in a hurry.

She's just been promoted to my hate list. Another name added to the ever growing list of people to avoid. Allen's at the top, naturally, but the lazy screaming cleaning woman now comes a very close second.